Fair has nothing to do with it - Excerpt

Someone has filled a place in my heart, and he shouldn't be there. I don't really think it's fair that I am taunted so by the possibility of a happiness I'm not allowed to have. If the universe will not let me have this, then what do I get instead?

I guess fair has got nothing to do with it




I could if I wanted to. I could take it so easily, it would be like plucking the apple from the tree of knowledge and I would feast on it with zeal and I would lay on the soft green Eden grass beneath the boughs and let the snake dance around my bare white legs. I would if I were Eve, if I was brave, but I am neither. My spirit longs always for what it cannot have, and so it is forever exhausted, extinguished by want, not for Eden, but for something more real.
Be brave, little one, says my head to my heart, stand up for your emaciated self –you are skin and bones. Love brings you substance, brings you muscle brings you blood to feast upon like a vampire; I feel like an animal, hunted not hunting, carnivorous but starved. I am constantly poised for battle, and I am scared by how little I am scared. Please, do not turn my weapons on me, I have no guns or claws only the letters to the spell the words that will hurt one or the other.
So, who's it going to be?