Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Pins in the Map of the World

So I'm home again.

It has been an unbelievable three months, I have had my eyes and my mind opened to a whole new perspective of the world, of people and of myself. I met so many interesting souls, most poor in terms of money yet rich in other aspects such as colour, knowledge, wisdom, stories, laughter, and love. I discovered D.H Lawrence,rediscovered Oscar Wilde and learnt how to dance the tango. I went swimming in oceans in lakes in volcanic thermal springs and the Amazon River, and I tried my best to speak Spanish. I slept in the jungle and saw wild animals and learnt how to live like the locals. I read One Hundred Years of Solitude and drank black coffee. I wrote and wrote and wrote so much about all the places I visited, not just about what I saw, but how I felt when I saw them; I look back at the photos and these feelings begin to make themselves known again, like little people tapping me gently on my shoulder.
But the most important thing I learnt was how to be free again, how to be the self I somehow lost when I turned 16; she has grown up and out like the lanky limbs of a tree, and she is a lot wiser now, the date rings on her trunk have mulitplied, but the difference is that the fear is no longer holding her back. I want to stay that person forever, but real life already seems to be pushing me down.

We come here every one of us drifting in and out like little lost souls in limbo, unsure of where we belong yet reveling in our freedom until life takes us by the arm and pushes our shoulders down into our places of communal solitude, like pins in the map of the world.

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