So I've been think a bit about these last 6 months, and I've realised that so far, aside from the brief time I was living out of home, this has been the most whacked out, spontaneous, unpredictable year of my small little life. I have realised that I am capable of a lot more than I thought I was, mainly because I hadn't really experienced much of what people would call "real life" (I still live partly in an imaginary world :P), being a insulated science student for most of my young years, yet right now, I am probably the closest to attaining the life that I want. Having said that, I don't think I will ever achieve the perfect state of being, but in some ways that is good, otherwise I would have no need for imagination and thus nothing to write about, other than how great my life is, and no one wants to read that :P ("Today, I rode my bicycle to the store to buy strawberry milk and peanut butter lindt balls. I also bought a new dress and some cowboyboots. Then I went home, made long island iced teas and lay under a canopy of trees in the afternoon sun while my ruggedly handsome lover serenaded me with the entire Bright Eyes back catalogue. My life is wonderful." Yep, I'd probably punch me too.)
I have met the most interesting people (and some of the scariest), I have pushed myself way beyond the boundaries my meek personality had set for me, I've taken risks and I've made new connections with like minded spirits. All of this has given me an amazing sense of perspective on what is really important (until now my emphasis has been on tangible achievements, yet I've realised that if I have no passion for them, they will become nothing more than reminders of the life I have wasted, because, as much as I would like to be, my head or my heart are not cut out to be a scientist, at least not while I'm still young. I just want to be, and be happy). I know I wont feel like this when Im 30, and then I'll have to settle down, get a proper career and sell my gyspie wagon, but right now, I love not being tied to the insitution. I'm growing up, and I'm growing old, but I'm still chasing my dream, whatever that may be. And first stop is South America.
http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=§ion=&global=1&q=machu+pichu#/d2nmibm (I'm gonna be there for my birthday. squee!)